Kynslee's Angel Day turned out to be a really nice day. We started the day off with getting Payson's 18 month pictures taken. They turned out so cute! I'll post them later. He was such a good boy for pictures, and all day. Afterwards, we went to the cemetery and had a picnic. This is one of my very favorite things to do. It is so peaceful and beautiful. We were lucky to have Nannie and Emily and the kids join us. We had a very nice time together.
Then we spent the next couple of hours getting everything ready for the balloon ceremony. I made some new flowers and decorations to put around Kynslee's headstone, and Ben went to the store to get the balloons and some last minute items. We headed back to the cemetery and got everything set up. It turned out perfect, as usual. My mom and I had spent the previous night baking cookies and so we set those out for everyone to eat as we were all gathering there and hanging out.
Ben gave a great little talk and thanked everyone for coming. We had a great turn out and can't express how much it means to us to have such wonderful support. Everyone wrote on their balloons and then we released them. I love looking up at the sky and seeing all the pink. It still touches my heart, and I know we will keep doing this.
My brother tried to send Kynslee a cookie by tying it to the end of the balloon. It took a little while for it to get up to heaven, but it eventually got there!
Afterwards, we went to dinner and had a good time just being together. It helps so much to have family and friends to be with. We are so blessed.
We were exhausted when the day was over; it was a busy, emotional day. These days are always hard, but they are emotionally satisfying. They bring much needed peace and comfort, and reassurance that this actually did happen. Sometimes it feels so surreal, like it was a different life. Sometimes if feels like just yesterday, and sometimes it feels like it's been forever. It's so hard to explain, and I probably sound like broken record, the way I repeat everything. Grief does that to you, I guess. Sometimes it surprises me at when it hits and how. It really is a roller coaster, and I'm never sure which way it's going. This I do know- I miss Kynslee. I wish she were still here. It's not fair that I don't have her with me right now. It's not fair that I have to explain it every time someone asks "Oh, is he your first?" or "How many kids do you have?" It's just not the way it's supposed to go. But it did go that way, and I can't change that. It will still sting and will still hurt, but I can choose to do the best I can with what I have been given. I will get up each day, think about her many times, miss her even more, and live my life to the fullest. I can't wait to see her again and hold her in my arms. Until then, I'll keep sending balloons.
4 comments:
Thanks so much for letting us be a part of it!! We love going and sending messages up to her:) Grief is very interesting me. It's like you are reading my thoughts when you talk about it. I'm so sorry again that you have to go through this but I know (and I know you do too) that is such a blessing to have an angel in your family. We love you guys!!
P.S. Those cookies were delicious I hope Kynslee shared some with Keaton :)
What a special day. I think this is such an awesome tradition to tribute a day to her. It gives me chills seeing all those pink balloons in the sky. So beautiful!
Such sweet pictures!!! Love you sweet Kynslee!
Teea, I will be honest, these last two posts have made my cry. Thank you for sharing your heart. The things you share help me to remember and focus on the really important things. I appreciate your words, your memories and honesty. Kynslee continues to bless others. Me. What a precious little girl. Thank you for this.
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