Heart Walk

The annual "Walk for Healing Hearts" will be taking place Saturday, September 12 at the Riverview Park in Provo, Utah. This is a fundraiser for Intermountain Healing Hearts which is a support group for families affected by congenital heart defects/disease. They are a non profit organization that offers support for families who have members living with heart defects/disease as well as families whose loved ones have passed away. Ben and I belong to the "Angel" group, where we can get together with other families who have gone through and are going through what we are experiencing. It has been a great help to us to have a support group of wonderful people who know what it is like, not only to lose a child, but to go through all the surgeries, hospital stays, and everything else we went through with Kynslee. Intermountain Healing Hearts does wonderful things to offer help and support to all its members. They make such great efforts to reach out and find the families going through these things (usually through Primary Children's Hospital) and I know for us, it was, and still is, great to know we are not alone.

We would love to have you come participate in this fun event! It is a one mile "heart walk" in which you can walk, run, push a stroller, or whatever you want! After the walk, there will be a memorial ceremony in honor of all the children who have passed away, in which they will be honoring Kynslee and many others. They will also be doing a drawing for door prizes, and they will be giving away lots of great things! (Last year someone won an IPOD Touch) This really is a fun event and its for a great cause.

It is $10.00 per person or $50.00 per family if you pre-register. The deadline for pre registration in August 26, which is only a few days away. After that deadline, the cost increases to $20.00 per person and $80.00 per family. (I thought the deadline was later- sorry for the late notice!) So hurry and pre register! You can register by going to www.intermountainhealinghearts.org or click here and you can either register online or print out the form to fill out and send in. When you go to the website, the first thing you will see is a big announcement for the IHH Heart Walk, click on that and you can get the form to print out.

This year we want to do something so we can visibly show we are Kynslee's family and friends. We were thinking about making t-shirts or buttons or something like that so that everyone will know we are there for Kynslee. I want everyone to have one of what we decide to do, so if you could let me know if you are planning on coming that would be great. I don't want to make you feel obligated to come or make you feel bad if you can't, so don't worry about any of that. If you think it would be fun to come, and you can make it, then you should! :)



To view our pictures from last year, click here. We really had a great time last year and are looking forward to it again. We would love to see you there!

Yesterday

was our anniversary. Three years ago we tied the knot! It was the most beautiful day. It was everything I ever wanted for my wedding. And Ben is everything I ever wanted for my husband. Like anyone, we have had our ups and downs; there have been happy times and not so happy times. I know we have learned and grown a lot. It hasn't been easy, but the good times have got us through. We have always had so much fun together and we are so lucky to have forever together.





To celebrate this wonderful occasion, we both spent the day working. Blah. But in the morning we went to my doctors appointment (everything looks great!) and then we went to breakfast. It was fun to spend the morning together. When Ben came home from work he brought me some beautiful flowers and also gave me some movies that I LOVE and have been wanting on DVD- Hercules, Finding Nemo, A Goofy Movie and Horton Hears A Who. (I am comfortable admitting that I love watching Disney movies!) I gave him two seasons of the tv show 24. Neither one of us knew we were giving each other movies... I guess that tells you what we love! :) We went to Leatherby's and got some yummy ice cream and brought it home and watched our wedding video. Despite having to work, it was a great day!

Just Simply Live

Awhile ago I changed the title of my blog to Just Simply Live. I used to LOVE quotes and sayings, and growing up I would put them up all over my bedroom walls. I loved the positive vibe they gave me and the meaningful words to ponder. Well, since my life has completely changed, I find myself criticizing those same quotes and sayings I always loved. Now things are not as simple and easy going as they used to be. For example, we were given a beautiful sign when we got married that says, "And they lived happily ever after..." I loved it and I put it up in our family room in our first apartment. It was just so exciting to be starting this new life with Ben and I was sure that everything was going to be wonderful. But now, it doesn't have the same meaning. Life is not just happy forever for me. Life is hard. It sometimes just sucks. And now I don't like the sign. I used to be a fairly positive person. I was good at looking on the bright side of things, and I was genuinely happy. Now, I feel that that person is gone and the new me has such a hard time being positive. I am happy with life, but now my happiness always has a sadness attached with it. When I would read those quotes and sayings about how great life is, there was no doubt in my mind that it was true. Now I find that I can't really take them to heart, because life is not that easy for me.
I chose to put Just Simply Live there, because it is how I have to live each day. I have to take one day at a time, and I just have to simply live. There are days I don't want to get out of bed. There are days I want to stay home and cry because I hurt so bad. There are days that I am really happy. There are days that I can rejoice for my daughters life and the beautiful time we spent together. There are days where I am so bitter that I don't want to talk to anyone. And everyday I have to make a choice on how I am going to let my experiences effect me. Sometimes its easy to have a good day. Sometimes I barely make it. But I have to keeping living. That is all I can do, just live each day. For me it is not, "Everyday is a great day" or "Be happy every day". It is "Just Simply Live" and that is what I try to do.

I just wanted to write down some of my feelings and thoughts. I feel like writing them out really helps me. Also, this is a great way of journaling, since I am not good at writing in my journal. I have already looked back at older posts, and enjoyed reading what I wrote. But I hate making myself so vulnerable. It makes me nervous to put myself out there, and let everyone know how I feel. I used to just want people to think I had it all together, instead of sharing what was really going on. But now, I don't want people to think I that I have it all together. I don't want people to think that I am just fine with everything that has happened. Because I am not. It is hard. Life is not easy for me. And I guess by letting others know that, they can help me. Because lets face it, I need help. I really appreciate all the comments I get on here. I love reading them, and they really do help me. I love the support and encouragement I always receive. It makes me feel so good to know I am not alone, that I have good friends who are there for me. So thank you very much! I really mean it. Thank you. And I guess the reason I keep writing such personal feelings is because I always get positive feedback. So if you have anything negative to say, please keep it to yourself! I don't think I could handle what you really think about me! :) Anyway, thank you for letting me be myself, and for letting me write out how I feel. Sometimes it's probably not pleasant to hear what I think, especially with me being Negative Nelly over here. But I really appreciate that I don't have to be fake and pretend that all is well. So thank you for accepting me. Thanks for all the support you have given me during the hardest time in my life. It means so much to me, and I can't tell you how much it helps to have good friends. THANK YOU!

Beautiful Baby

This morning, I got on my blog to start blog hopping and catching up and what everyone else was doing, and for some reason I started looking at the slide show of Kynslee. I never get tired of looking at her pictures. There are so many memories and emotions that come along with them, however, that sometimes it is fun and sometimes it is hard. I started missing her like crazy. She is just the most precious baby! I love all her pictures, and I would post them all if I could. They mean so much to me. I am so glad I went crazy and took so many pictures. I LOVE them!



When I saw this picture, my heart just melted. Look at how beautiful this baby is! She is a day old in this picture and I just love how PERFECT she looks. It is before she started the long road of surgeries and recovery and everything else in between, and she looks so precious and so little, and I just want to hold her and kiss that perfect chest, before it gets broken and scarred. I am so glad we have these pictures (thanks to my wonderful mother in law). I had no idea then that looking at her before pictures would be so meaningful and special to me. It gives me hope and comfort knowing she is perfect now and that when I see her again, she will be as beautiful as ever. I just love this picture!