What's Been Going On

Well we have been very busy here at the Lamb house. I have been meaning to post an update, but you know how that goes...

We are doing well, just plugging along. Ben is still as busy as ever with everything. We love the time we get together and look forward to the weekends. Work keeps me busy and wears me out, so by the time I get home, I don't feel like doing much! That is not helping me get everything done that I want to before baby gets here. I just keep getting bigger and bigger, but baby is doing well. I have recently been working on Kynslee's scrapbook. I wanted to have it completed before baby comes but I don't know if that is going to happen. We just have so many pictures of her, and it takes me awhile to do it because I want it to be perfect. I really love it. It brings back a lot of memories, some happy, some painful, but I just love being able to capture her life. I want to be able to show our kids all about their sister, with pictures and stories, so they can know her as best they can. It is a really fun project, though emotionally draining sometimes. I also have a long list of things I NEED to do to get ready for baby. I still haven't been through and pulled out the baby stuff... I am kind of dreading it and just keep putting it off. I really need to though and find out what we have and what we need. I am just scared. I am afraid of the emotions that might come along with it. I am afraid of what I might find. Too many memories that sometimes make me happy and sometimes make me cry. I also don't want to do it alone, so I am waiting for a time when both Ben and I can do it, which conveniently is never. But someday soon we will attempt it. I also have lots of things I want to make for baby and really need to get on that since there is only 3 months left! I can't believe how fast time is flying by.

The other day we took a trip up to Primary's to get an echo cardiogram to take a good look at baby's heart. Although our previous ultrasound showed things are going well, we were encouraged and advised to go to Primary's and have cardiology take a real close look at the heart in case there is something that a regular ultrasound will not pick up. It was a hard day. I was very anxious about the appointment and having to go back to the hospital. Being back at cardiology and having the echo brought back the painful memories of two years ago when we did this and found out the devastating news. Even the smells, the soap, the hand sanitizer, and just the general smell of hospital, brought back so many thoughts and emotions. We didn't like being there and we didn't stick around too long. The great part about the visit was the confirmation we received that everything looks good with baby. They did not see anything abnormal, but everything looks like it is doing what it should. We are so relieved. Beyond expression. I just kept thinking, 'What if we have to do all this again?' and I quite honestly didn't know the answer to that... but baby's heart looks healthy and normal. And we are so grateful.

As you can tell, we don't have a name for this little boy yet. We lovingly refer to him as baby or junior (I just don't want that one to stick!). We are working on it, and have yet to find the perfect one. It will come eventually.

We are in the process of making some big and important decisions for our family. It is exciting to think about the what the future holds. I am really trying hard to work on just enjoying life as it is. Too often I find myself saying, "I can't wait until..." but I don't want to do that. I want to just enjoy every day and every stage of my life. It's hard for me because I am a planner. I want to know what is going to happen, when, where, why and what I am going to be wearing. I just like to have things planned and organized. But sometimes in the process of making my plans, life is going on and I am missing it. So I am working on really enjoying each day. And I have really noticed a difference.